i have uncovered the latest culinary trend.
it's a biggy.
you: unsuspecting but rather sophisticated diner at an upscale restaurant. you are seated at a lovely table, there is a great buzz, if somewhat 'affected', but pleasant nonetheless. the ambiance, lighting, graphics, and decor all promise a lovely evening for you and your dining companion(s).
he: your smiling, well groomed (usually better than you!), and simultaneously solicitous and aloof waiter. here comes the trend, after the characteristic introductory pleasantries. "have you ever dined with us before?", he queries. you nod your head (insert affirmative or negative, it doesn't really matter as said waitstaff will progress in the same fashion irrespective of your reply). "let me explain to you how it works....", and you suddenly find yourself the unwitting victim of a culinary diatribe that differentiates between various asian spices, or the finer points of italian cheeses, or how the products are grown organically on a farm upstate, or how plates will arrive at different times in a totally unnatural progression so you should not be alarmed.
let's just set this straight. we ARE familiar with the dining process, we are NOT discombobulated morons who have never seen the light of day, and we can navigate our way around a menu, realizing the importance of vocalizing any questions we may dream up. although frankly there rarely IS an opportunity to ask a question, as literally every single ingredient, breeding method, and cooking step is delineated on the giant and/or minuscule menu (reading glasses!!!). 'farm raised organic beefling braised in a port wine and lemongrass broth with shallots, cilantro, and turnips culled from our compost garden in the upper highlands' does not leave a lot to the imagination (other than utter perplexed exhaustion!).
we're not THAT stupid, are we???
any questions?
h
it's a biggy.
you: unsuspecting but rather sophisticated diner at an upscale restaurant. you are seated at a lovely table, there is a great buzz, if somewhat 'affected', but pleasant nonetheless. the ambiance, lighting, graphics, and decor all promise a lovely evening for you and your dining companion(s).
he: your smiling, well groomed (usually better than you!), and simultaneously solicitous and aloof waiter. here comes the trend, after the characteristic introductory pleasantries. "have you ever dined with us before?", he queries. you nod your head (insert affirmative or negative, it doesn't really matter as said waitstaff will progress in the same fashion irrespective of your reply). "let me explain to you how it works....", and you suddenly find yourself the unwitting victim of a culinary diatribe that differentiates between various asian spices, or the finer points of italian cheeses, or how the products are grown organically on a farm upstate, or how plates will arrive at different times in a totally unnatural progression so you should not be alarmed.
let's just set this straight. we ARE familiar with the dining process, we are NOT discombobulated morons who have never seen the light of day, and we can navigate our way around a menu, realizing the importance of vocalizing any questions we may dream up. although frankly there rarely IS an opportunity to ask a question, as literally every single ingredient, breeding method, and cooking step is delineated on the giant and/or minuscule menu (reading glasses!!!). 'farm raised organic beefling braised in a port wine and lemongrass broth with shallots, cilantro, and turnips culled from our compost garden in the upper highlands' does not leave a lot to the imagination (other than utter perplexed exhaustion!).
we're not THAT stupid, are we???
any questions?
h
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